The Nerdity Test - V.(5X^3-3X)/2

Note: The script that calculated the scores no longer exists - this is only here for the html formatting.

THE NERDITY TEST
Version 5.x.cubed.minus.3.x.all.divided.by.2
10 December, 1993
HTML-Version: 7 May, 1996
CGI-Version: 13 March, 1998

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SECTION 1: Education and Schooling

Have you ever taken a "higher" math course? (Trig, Calculus)
Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #1?
Have you ever taken a science course? (Biology, Physics, Chemistry)
Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #5?
Have you ever majored in the "hard sciences"? (engineering, physics chemistry, etc. but excluding psychology, economics, etc.)
Have you ever taken Latin?
Have you ever asked a question in lecture?
Have you ever answered a question asked in lecture?
Have you ever corrected a professor in lecture?
Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?
Have you ever given a lecture?
Do you sit in the front row more than 20% of the time?
Have you ever had a "perfect attendance record"?
Have you ever verified an equation in a science text on your own? Credits
Have you ever derived an equation you found in a science text?
Do you take notes in more than one color?
Do you use other props when taking notes? (ruler, compass, protractor)
Have you ever tutored someone else?
Have you ever done homework on a Friday night?
Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?
Have you taken any classes pass/fail just to preserve your GPA?
Have you ever known more about the subject material than the lecturer?
Have you ever had an argument with a professor? Credits
Has a lecturer ever referred someone to you as being more knowledgeable? Credits
Did you apply to any college merely for the sake of "seeing if you would get in"? Credits
Was your SAT math more than 300 above your verbal?
Did you score higher than 1200 combined on the SAT?

SECTION 2: Knowledge

Can you count in binary? (up to decimal 10) Correct Answer

Can you count in hexadecimal? (up to decimal 20) Correct Answer

Can you count in Roman numerals? Correct Answer

Do you know Maxwell's equations? (integral or differential form) Correct Answer

Do you know Schrödinger's Equation? Correct Answer

Have you ever solved Schrödinger's Equation?

Credits

Do you know the difference between a scalar and a vector? Correct Answer

Do you know the difference between a vector and a tensor? Correct Answer

Do you know the right-hand-rule for cross-products? Correct Answer

Do you know the Latin name (genus and species) for anything? (fruit fly, human being) Correct Answer

Can you understand the owner's manual for electronic equipment?

Can you understand the electronic schematic for electronic equipment?

Do you know what a "reverse Polish notation" calculator is? Correct Answer Credits

Can you name the first nine elements of the periodic table in order? Correct Answer

Can you translate more than half the chemical symbols into the name of the element they represent?

Do you know the wavelengths in the visible spectrum? Correct Answer

Are you bilingual?

Can you briefly outline the biological process that occur due to alcohol when it is consumed by a human?

Do you know how your car's engine works?

Have you ever interpolated?

Have you ever extrapolated?

Do you know the difference between interpolation and extrapolation? Correct Answer

Have you ever integrated numerically? Credits

Credits

Have you ever seen or utilized the spherical harmonic functions? Credits

Credits

Do you know most of the words to "The Lumberjack Song" by Monty Python? Correct Answer

Do you own an encyclopedia?

Have you ever read an encyclopedia entry that you weren't researching?

Have you ever wanted to know something for no apparent reason? Credits

Have you ever been laughed at for wanting to know something? Credits

Can you program the time on a VCR?

Has anyone ever asked you to program their VCR time for them?

Have you ever used the word "asymptotic"?

Have you ever referred to something as an L.E.D.?

Have you ever referred to a ruler as a "straight-edge"?

Have you ever said "quartz crystal"?

Have you ever called something a "print out" or "hard copy"?

Have you ever referred to a curve/object as hyperbolic, parabolic, etc.?

Do you feel your vocabulary is larger than most people's?

Is your IQ greater than your weight?

Answer YES if you know what the following acronyms stand for.

...RADAR? Correct Answer

...MODEM? Correct Answer

...RAM? Correct Answer

...DNA? Correct Answer

...ATP? Correct Answer

...NADP? Correct Answer

...CRT? Correct Answer

...CRC? Correct Answer

...STP? Correct Answer

...NORAD? Correct Answer

...NASA? Correct Answer

...MUD? Correct Answer

...LED? Correct Answer

...AI? Correct Answer

...LASER? Correct Answer

...RPG? Correct Answer

...TLA? Correct Answer Credits

...SCUBA? Correct Answer

...CD? Correct Answer

...DAT? Correct Answer

...PINE? Correct Answer

...JOVE? Correct Answer

Did you not know one of the above, but took a wild guess at in anyway?

Have you ever created an acronym in order to simplify your writing?

The next few questions deal with physical constants. Mark yes for any that you can give the value (2 or more significant digits) for. Feel free to use whatever internationally-accepted measurement system you like.

gravitational constant? (G) Correct Answer

earth's gravity near the surface? (g) Correct Answer

mass of an electron? Correct Answer

charge of an electron? Correct Answer

speed of light in vacuum? Correct Answer

speed of sound at STP? Correct Answer

Planck's constant? (h or h-bar) Correct Answer

permittivity of free space? (epsilon naught) Correct Answer

permeability of free space? (mu naught) Correct Answer

Avogadro's number? Correct Answer

molar gas constant? Correct Answer

pi? (exception: must know more than 5 digits) Correct Answer

Mark this true if you are presently the person knowing the most digits of pi in the room. Credits

e? (exception: must know more than 5 digits) Correct Answer

Can you give the conversion factor between... (2 or more sig. digits)

centimeters and inches? Correct Answer

kilometers and statute miles? Correct Answer

joules and electron-volts? Correct Answer

atomic mass units and kilograms? Correct Answer

celsius and Kelvin? Correct Answer

celsius and Fahrenheit? Correct Answer

meters and Astronomical Units (AU)? Correct Answer

AU and light years? Correct Answer

light years and parsecs? Correct Answer

If while answering any question in this section, you said someone else's answer was wrong and were right, mark this question true. (e.g. "you nob! Pi isn't 3.14259. It's 3.14159!")

If while answering any question in this section, you checked a reference book to find out the correct answer, mark this question true. (e.g. "AARRGGH! What's that last R in radar stand for?")

SECTION 3: Computers

Have you ever used a computer?

...for more than 4 hours continuously?

...for more than 8 hours continuously?

...past 4 a.m.?

...as a source of income?

...on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same weekend?

...with someone you were physically attracted toward?

...for money?

...in the last 24 hours?

...in the last half hour?

...as a source of entertainment? (computer game)

...in the last three months?

...in the last three weeks?

Have you ever programmed a computer?

...to write a computer game?

...to write a computer virus?

...to write a shell script?

Do you still own any computer with less than 512k of RAM? (e.g. Commodore 64, Apple II +/e/c, TRS 80, ad infinitum)

...that is still in working condition?

...and still buy software for it? Credits

Do you own more than one computer with at least a megabyte of RAM?

Do you own any computer which would be classified as a workstation? Credits

Have you ever taken your computer on vacation with you?

Have you ever lost sleep over a computer game? Credits

Have you ever used a ...

mouse? Credits

hard disk drive?

light-pen?

computer with a touch sensitive monitor?

track-ball?

...for something other than a video game?

Dvorak keyboard? (as opposed to QWERTY)

modem?

Have you ever seen a magnetic tape reel? Credits

Have you ever mounted a magnetic tape reel? Credits

Have you ever seen a computer punch card? Credits

Have you ever programmed using punch cards? Credits

Are you still capable of programming with punch cards? Credits

Do you have any "pirated" software? (i.e. second-hand copywritten)

Do you have any "public-domain" software?

Do you have any "shareware"? (i.e. software author requests a fee be sent to them for its use)

Do you currently own a modem capable of 14.4kbs or faster? Credits

Do you still own any modem whose top speed is 370 baud or less? Credits

Have you ever telnet'ed from one computer system to another?

...to gain access to a system you had no authorization on?

...to call a government computer? (NASA, FBI, NORAD, etc.)

...to call a research institution? (CERN, JPL, etc.)

...where the other machine was outside of your native country? Credits

Do you have an electronic mail address? Credits

...more than one E-mail address? Credits

Have you ever sent E-mail? Credits

...to yourself? Credits

...to someone who was in the same room as you at the time? Credits

...with a .sig file appended to the end of it? Credits

...in the last week? Credits

Have you ever set up and run a mailing list for E-mail? Credits

Do you receive more E-mail than you send? Credits

Have you ever FTP'd?

...anonymously?

Have you ever uploaded?

Have you ever downloaded?

Have you ever multi-tasked? (ran 2+ applications concurrently)

Have you ever set up a kill file?

...that does more than simply 'kill'?

Do you have a .plan or similar file for when people finger you?

Have you set up a login.com or similar file for auto-execution on logging unto a computer system? (autoexec.bat, login.com...)

Do you use alias/batch commands to standardize your OS? (e.g. alias dir ls) Credits

Have you ever read the postings on USENET? Credits

...in the last week? Credits

Have you posted to USENET? Credits

...and gotten a response? Credits

...from someone you knew outside of the net? Credits

...and gotten a "flame"? Credits

Have you ever posted to...

...a science fiction news group? (rec.arts.sf) Credits

...a sex news group? (alt.sex) Credits

...talk.bizarre? Credits

...rec.humor? Credits

...a sci. or science-related news group? Credits

Have you ever written a FAQ for a USENET news group? Credits

Have you ever run a vote for a USENET news group? Credits

Have you ever moderated a USENET news group? Credits

Have you played any MUD's, MUSH's or other multi-user games? Credits

...in the last week? Credits

...today? Credits

Do you consistently play more than one MUD, MUSH, etc.? Credits

Are you a "wizard/implementor/immortal" on any MUD's, MUSH's, etc.? Credits

Do you have GIF files as wallpaper? Credits

Is part of your desk space devoted to your computer?

Have you ever built a computer?

...from chips?

Do you have a favorite computer language? Credits

...that you've had to defend in verbal debate? Credits

Which of the following computer languages do you know...

...BASIC?

...PASCAL?

...FORTRAN?

...assembly language?

...C?

Have you ever forgotten a person's name but not their E-mail address?

Do you know more computer addresses than street addresses?

Do you tend to remember the IP numbers instead of the alpha address for computer sites? (128.253.232.63 vs. crux3.cit.cornell.edu) Credits

Do you find that you type more often than you write longhand? Credits

Have you ever forgotten how to write longhand? Credits

Have you ever used computer symbology elsewhere? (goto, *, etc.)

Have you ever spoken Internet-ese? (btw, imho, :), brb, afk)

Have you ever blown off doing something you were supposed to do in order to work on the computer?

Have you ever felt jealous of someone merely because they owned a better computer system than you? Credits

SECTION 4: Possessions

Do you frequently find yourself with more plugs than outlets?

Do you currently own a can of WD-40?

Do you currently own a can of compressed air?

Do you have a personal copy of any version of the Nerdity Test?

...in space allocated to you on a computer system?

Have you ever owned a light saber (Star Wars)?

...that wasn't made of plastic?

Do you own an 8-track tape player or any 8-track tapes? Credits

Do you own an almanac? (World, Farmer's)

Do you own an atlas?

Do you own a globe?

...and have it on display? (on a desk, bookshelf...)

...that has bumps corresponding to mountain ranges?

...that lights up?

Do you own any "maps of the ancient world"?

...and have them on display?

Do you have any "mathematical" artwork? (Escher, fractals)

Have you ever faxed something?

Have you ever received a fax?

Do you own a cellular phone? (car phone)

Do you own a non-standard calculator? (scientific, programmable)

Do you own a "reverse Polish notation" calculator? Credits

Do you own a slide rule?

...and know how to use it?

Other than a thermometer, do you own any meteorological equipment?

Do you own any orienteering equipment? (compass, sextant, etc.)

Do you own a pencil case?

Do you own any mechanical pencil?

...and have refills for it?

Do you own an electric pencil sharpener?

Do you own a laboratory notebook?

Do you own any graph paper? (quad-ruled)

Do you own any log or semi-log paper?

Do you own a table of integrals?

Have you ever stolen scientific (radiation, biohazard) warnings for personal use? Credits

SECTION 5: Leisure Time

Have you ever taken something apart?

...and put it back together correctly?

...without worrying about voiding the warranty?

Do friends and/or family ask you to fix things? Credits

Do friends and/or family ask to borrow your tools?

...because you are the only person they know who OWNS that tool?

Have you ever put something together without reference to the assembly instructions?

Have you ever bought something primarily for the pleasure of taking it apart to "see how it works"?

Have you ever rewired something?

Have you ever played a non-sexual role-playing game? (D&D)

...since leaving high school?

Have you ever been to a RPG convention? (GenCON, etc.

...in the last six months?

Have you ever taken a "self-help" test? Credits

Do you derive perverse pleasure from self-help tests? Credits

Do you ever lord your scores on such tests over people around you? Credits

Have you ever dissected something?

...while not involved in a biology class?

Do you play chess?

Were you ever on a chess team?

...on a math team?

...on a debate team?

...on a "trivia" team? (college bowl, JEOPARDY)

...the captain for any of the teams listed above?

...the coach for any of the teams listed above?

Did you ever join one of the above teams for the purpose of picking up members of the opposite sex?

Were you ever in a science fair?

...that you placed in the top three?

Are you a member of Mensa?

Have you ever made a technical joke?

...in the last week?

...that no one around you understood?

...and you found yourself trying to explain it? Credits

...that everyone around you understood?

...but their reason for laughing was not yours?

SECTION 6: Leisure Time - Nerd Toys

Have you ever bought something from Radio Shack?

Do you know what an oscilloscope does?

Have you ever used an oscilloscope?

Do you own an oscilloscope?

Have you ever used a microscope?

Do you own a microscope?

Have you ever used a telescope?

...not for peering through someone's bedroom window?

Do you own a voltmeter?

Do you own any remote controlled vehicles?

Do you own a CB radio?

Have you ever had an amateur radio license? Credits

Do you still have an amateur radio license? Credits

Have you ever had an extra-class amateur radio license? Credits

Have you ever used a chemistry set?

...since the age of 13?

Have you ever used a rare earth element?

Do you own a slinky?

Does a slinky make you think about oscillations?

Do you own a Rubik's cube?

Are you able to solve Rubik's Cube?

...without using the book?

...in less than two minutes?

Have you ever tried to calculate the number of possible permutations a Rubik's Cube can have?

SECTION 7: Leisure Time - TV and Movies

Do you watch more than 4 hours of TV on any given day of the week?

Can you name more than 5 shows on PBS, A&E, the Discovery or the History Channel?

Have you ever watched a PBS documentary?

...voluntarily? Credits

...in the last three weeks? Credits

Have you ever watched more than 5 consecutive minutes of C-Span while they were broadcasting unedited government procedures? (e.g. covering a vote in Congress, special committee, etc.)

Have you ever watched a complete episode of...

...Dr. Who?

...Battlestar Galactica?

...Space: 1999?

...Starblazers? (cartoon about the WWII battleship flying through space) Credits

Have you ever watched a TV or movie and said: "that's physically impossible (due to Newton's xth law, etc.) ?"

Can you whistle, hum, sing or snap the theme songs to...

...Gilligan's Island?

...Flintstones?

...The Brady Bunch?

...The Jetson's?

...The Addam's Family?

...Dobie Gillis?

...I Dream of Jeannie?

Have you ever seen any of the "Revenge of The Nerd" movies more than once? Credits

Have you seen all of the Star Wars movies?

...in one 24 hour period?

SECTION 8: Leisure Time - Books and Magazines

Have you ever read anything by...

...Douglas Adams?

...Isaac Asimov?

...Arthur C. Clarke?

...Robert A. Heinlein?

...Piers Anthony?

...J.R.R. Tolkien?

...TSR Hobbies? (i.e. a novel published by the D&D people)

...Richard Feynman? (e.g. his lectures, etc.) Credits

...Stephen Hawking?

...Carl Sagan?

Have you ever read -Cultural-Literacy- or any other book on "what you, as an intelligent person, should know"?

Have you ever read -Innumeracy- or any other book about mathematics made popular?

Do you read books on a daily basis?

Have you finished a book in the last week?

Have you finished more than one book in the last week?

Have you ever bought a book of crossword puzzles/logic problems?

Do you read archaic computer manuals for pleasure? Credits

Do you have magazine subscriptions to...

...Popular Mechanics?

...Popular Science?

...Omni?

...Scientific America?

...any computer oriented magazine? (MacWorld, PCWorld, etc.)

...Computer Gaming World (or similar)? Credits

...Discover?

...any medical journals? (New England Journal of Medicine)

...any science periodicals?

...National Geographic?

...any comic book or "graphic novel"? (X-Men, Superman, Heavy Metal)

SECTION 9: Star Trek

Can you name or discuss the plots of more than 10 Star Trek episodes?

Have you seen all of the Star Trek films?

...in one 48 hour period?

Do you refer to the various "Treks" as "TOS" (The Original Series), "TNG" (The Next Generation) and "DS9" (Deep Space 9) or similar? Credits

Have you ever argued with someone over which "Trek" is better?

Have you ever argued over who was a better commander of the Enterprise?

Have you ever felt the urge to learn the Klingon language?

Have you ever been to a trek convention?

...in the last six months?

Have you ever owned a pair of Spock ears (Star Trek)?

...and worn them in public?

SECTION 10: Clothing and Apparel

Are your socks unmatched?

Do you own a digital watch?

...that plays music?

...that's currently set to chime on the hour?

...that has a calculator built in?

Do you own a pocket protector?

...and are you wearing it?

Do you have acne?

Do you have greasy hair?

...without realizing it?

Do you own any clothing with scientific knowledge printed on it? (e.g. t-shirts with Maxwell's equations) Credits

...which you still wear from time to time? Credits

Have you ever worn a radiation film badge? Credits

...while not in the laboratory? Credits

...and described what it was to someone, who then backed away in fear? Credits

Are your pants too short?

Does your underwear have your name in it? Credits

Is your outfit uncoordinated? (have someone else evaluate this)

Have you ever worn a button-down shirt and left the tails hanging out?

Have you ever bought similar looking shirts/pants in order to save time when dressing because "everything goes together"?

Do you wear glasses?

...held together by adhesives? (tape, glue, boogers) Credits

Is your vision worse than 20/40? (in either eye)

Is your vision worse than 20/80? (in either eye)

Are you legally blind? (in either eye) (strange, I don't recall writing a Braille edition...)

SECTION 11: Personality and Lifestyle

Have you ever slept an inverted day? (sleep at dawn, wake at dusk) Credits

...for more than one day in a row? Credits

Have you ever slept round the clock? (24 continuous hours in bed) Credits

Which of the following have you used to prevent sleep...

...Caffeine?

...exercise?

...Vivarin?

...NoDoz?

...something you made in chem. lab?

...something you found in chem. lab?

Have you worked for an engineering or manufacturing firm?

...in the last 3 months?

...and gotten credit at a school for doing so?

Have you worked in a research lab?

...and been more interested in the work than the pay?

Have you ever visited a power plant? (Hoover Dam, nuclear plant, etc.)

...and not been bored?

Are you socially inept?

Was the last naked person you saw a hi-res computer scan? Credits

Do you talk to yourself?

...when other people are around?

Do you talk to imaginary people?

...do they talk back?

...do they seem to be more/less intelligent than you?

Do you have a tough time remembering people's names?

...but no trouble with their numeric data? (phone#, SS#)

Have you ever played mathematical games with other numbers you see to pass the time? (square/cube root, prime factors of phone#) Credits

Do you see everyday situations as representing mathematical concepts? Credits

Do you look at quantitative factors when participating in social events? (ex: choosing drinks by % alcohol rather than taste) Credits

Mark this true if you did NOT go to your senior prom.

Did you go stag to your Senior Prom?

Have you ever found a grammatical error in a published book?

Have you ever quoted a piece of literature from memory? (poem, quote)

Have you ever eaten pizza cold?

...do you like it that way?

...because you're too lazy to reheat it?

Have you ever gotten pizza delivered to the lab/office/science building?

Is any leftover delivery food currently residing in your refrigerator?

...that's been there so long, you can't remember ordering it?

...that's been there so long, it's become mobile/sentient?

Is any food in your refrigerator moldy?

Have you ever commented on the lack of intellectual ability found in a "JEOPARDY" contestant? Credits

Have you ever contemplated the meaning of life/existence of God?

...while not drunk?

...while alone?

Have you ever thought about extra dimensions/parallel universes?

...and discussed their possibilities with others?

Have you come to any conclusions about UFO's/life on other planets?

...and used Time-Life's "Mysteries of the Unknown" series as a factual reference to support your claim?

Have you ever commented: "If I drive fast enough at the red light, it'll appear green."

Have you ever found yourself discussing one of the popular scientific theories of the day with someone you just met? (cold fusion) Credits

...did they bring it up because they thought you incapable of talking about non-technical topics? Credits

Have you ever taken part in an experiment to prove/disprove one of the popular scientific theories of the day? (cold fusion, big bang) Credits

Have you ever thought about reviving the dead? (Frankenstein)

...for sexual purposes?

...and had some degree of success?

...but been laughed at by a leading medical institution?

Have you ever given an inanimate object a name? (inc.: stuffed animal)

Was the object something electronic or mechanical?

Did the object also have a "personality"?

Have you ever compared and contrasted two scientists? (Einstein vs. Newton, etc.) Credits

Have you ever argued with someone else over which of two scientists was better?

Have you ever argued with someone over which of two computer types/OS's is better? (Macintosh vs. IBM, UNIX vs. VMS)

Have you ever laughed out loud at a joke written in a serious scientific paper? (Feynman's lectures, textbook) Credits

Has anyone ever called you a geek/nerd?

...in the last two weeks?

...for doing/saying something you knew to be geeky?

Have you ever intentionally done something that you consider geeky?

...in the last month?

...today?

SECTION 12: The Nerdity Test

Are you taking this test alone?

Are you currently reading this test on a computer screen?

Are you planning to double-check your answers to this test?

Do you feel the need (or are you currently using) a calculator to score the test? Credits

Are you computing your score in scientific notation? Credits

Have you contemplated writing a computer program that would ask and/or tabulate questions found on this test?

Are you currently scoring this test in reverse? (i.e. Assuming 100% nerd and deducting for each 'no'?) Credits

Have you come across copies of this test from two separate sources?

If you are still reading this test, do you really need a test score to prove you are a nerd? Credits

Is your Nerdity Quotient higher than your purity test score?

Did you feel offended by any of the questions on this test? Credits

Did you resort to lying in order to raise your score? Credits

Did you resort to lying in order to lower your score? Credits

Are you currently competing with someone else for the highest score on this test (or were contemplating it)? Credits

...did you come up second best and challenge them to a rematch? Credits

Have you asked for a technical clarification of anything on this test?

Have you ever thought of a question that belongs on this test?

[email protected]

Please put your pencils down. That's it, hope you enjoyed.

Ranking:
0 - 20.99	Nerd-in-Training
21 - 35.99	Nerd-wannabe
36 - 50.99	Closet nerd
51 - 60.99	Your social life needs some serious help
61 - 70.99	YOU need some serious help
71 - 80.99	Your best friend is a microchip
81 - 90.99	"Revenge of the Nerds" poster-child
91 - 99.99	Move over, Einstein
100	Hail, O Nerd Master, virgin sliderules I sacrifice unto you

This version compiled by yours truly: Jeffrey Bennett.

Any questions or comments? Drop me a line at:

[email protected]

Send the Author E-Mail: [email protected]
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