Enforced Chastity -- see chastity.
An electrical toy -- see TENS unit
Piercing through the bridge of the nose -- see the Piercing Glossary.
Device, resembling a pair of tongs, used for applying very strong and tight elastic bands, intended for vetinary use in castrating and tail-cropping young animals, but sometimes used as a form of clamp in SM play, especially on nipples (prolonged wearing of such bands should be avoided). Eventually more details should be in the Clips and Clamps briefing.
Bondage device placed around elbow -- see restraint 2.
Electrical play, electrotorture. Using electricity in SM
games seems a scary notion to many people but it can easily be made safe
provided two simple rules are followed: only use devices powered by low-powered batteries, and certainly no mains-powered appliances; and avoid placing any contacts above the waist (including on hands or arms), because even small currents in the heart or brain can disrupt those organs' own delicate electrical activity with serious consequences. Popular devices include Relaxicisors and TENS machines, designed for muscle and back-pain therapy,and violet wands, which use radio frequency discharge and can be used above the waist provided the face is avoided. See the Electricity
An electrical procedure for hair removal -- see depilation.
Removal of the male genitals, especially the testicles -- see castration.
Beta-endorphin. A form of chemical produced naturally by the body that seems to be involved in regulating the perception of pain. The name is derived from 'endo-' meaning internal, and the name of the drug morphine: endorphins are chemically similar to opiates, and one of the factors in opiate addiction is that the body stops producing them in response to the presence of the drug. The detached euphoria sought after and enjoyed by some SM bottoms as a result of heavy paingames may in part derive from the release of endorphins. See the Pain Sourcesheet.
A thorough anal douche using a bag and tube.
EC - see chastity.
According to Jay Wiseman, seizures are the second most common medical emergency in SM play after fainting, and epilepsy is one of the most common causes. Jay's guide to Seizure Management is in the First Aid Sourcesheet.
There are a number of ethical rules of thumb prevalent in the SM community, informing both personal practise and the rules and etiquette at play parties and meetings. The best known are that play should be Safe, Sane and Consensual, and that you can Hurt but not Harm. Some further discussions of these issues are in the Ethics Sourcesheet.
Eulenspiegel Society, The
TES. A New York City-based BDSM support group founded in 1971 to
provide information and services to everyone interested in "Loving
SM". The current membership is primarily
hetero/bisexual, but all are welcome, and events are open to non-members. TES holds twice-weekly meetings and several parties a year, publishes Prometheus, a quarterly magazine, and runs a website. (Thanks to TES board member Leonard for this information).
A man who has had his testicles removed -- see castration.
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Fist fucking -- see fisting.
See fellatio, fucking.
A temporary loss of consciousness caused by lack of oxygen to the brain, which can be result from standing still for too long in a warm atmosphere, but also sometimes from fear, shock or intense emotion: on both counts it is a significant hazard in some forms of SM play, and is also sometimes brought about deliberately -- see breath control. Recovery from fainting should be rapid and complete but there is some evidence to suggest that regularly induced fainting can cause cumulative brain damage. Details on how to deal with a faint are in the First Aid Sourcesheet.
Cocksucking, giving a blow-job (BJ) or blowing, going down on someone, being face fucked: the act of sucking or licking a penis, or having a penis inserted in the mouth. Once considered a perversion, now a common vanilla option, but also used among BDSMers. A bottom may perform fellatio as an act of submission, or an top may do it to a bottom in some intense way, perhaps including using the teeth -- see cock torture. The word is first recorded in English in 1887 and is clearly derived from the Latin fellare, to suck (McDonald 1996:52); a man who performs the act is a fellator and a woman who does so is a fellatrix. Hygiene precautions should be observed with this activity -- see safer sex.
A man who performs fellatio (cocksucking).
A woman who performs fellatio (cocksucking).
A female dominant or female domination.
Brand name of a widely available female condom.
In anthropology, a fetish is an object to which powers are attributed that go beyond its natural ones; when the term is extended to sexuality, it indicates an object not naturally connected with sexual reproduction that nonetheless causes sexual arousal for some people. As Freud (1953:153) puts it, the fetish 'bears
some relation to the normal sexual object but is entirely unsuited to serve the normal sexual aim' (by which, of course, he means the reproductive aim). The best known object fetishes are for items of clothing, especially those made out of particular materials like fur, leather and rubber, and boots and shoes. However, if the notion of a fetish is extended to include activities, then SM, which consists almost entirely of activities 'unsuited to serve the normal sexual aim', appears as one big fetish. For further discussion see under Fetishism in the Boundaries article on the Dynamics and Definitions Sourcesheet.
Note that originally 'fetish' was used of the object itself: a particular artifact would be a fetish. But in its sexual use it usually means the propensity to be aroused by a certain object, as in 'Mary has a fetish for dirty socks', and the object is called 'the fetish object'. 'Fetishism' is the propensity to be aroused by a fetish object.
Some basic skills in emergency medical treatment, of the sort that are taught on first aid courses, could be invaluable when you are putting people into some of the potentially stressful or dangerous situations of some SM. A brief guide to the most important general problems for BDSMers is being assembled in the First Aid Sourcesheet; in Britain, the standard introductory text is St John Ambulance 1992.
Fist fucking, FF, handballing (mainly US). Placing or attempting to place the whole hand (or even both hands) into the rectum or vagina. The hanky code for fisting is red, and the activity is sometimes described simply as 'red'. In fact the hand is only formed into a fist, if at all, once it is fully inserted, a process that requires a great deal of gentleness, care and patience. Moving the fist repeatedly in and out of the orifice is known as punch fucking; it is a dangerous advanced technique and relatively rare.
Fisting is not always counted as an SM technique because it actually requires a good deal of collaboration to be successful and has its own circle of afficianados, amongst whom switching roles is often the norm. See the Fisting Factsheet.
Factory designation of a classic style of denim jeans with button flies made in the USA by Levi Strauss, based on a design dating back to the California gold rushes of the 1840s. Widely fetishised among gay men: almost essential for the denim look and also popular among skinheads.
Outdated shortening of Flagellation.
1. Outdated shortening of Flagellation (pronounced as 'fladge').
2. 'To flag' is sometimes used to mean to show your preferences according to the hanky code or the left-right convention, as in for example 'He was flagging left' or 'He was flagging red'.
See also Leather Pride flag.
Sometimes abbreviated to fladge or flag (the latter pronounced identically to the former), though these are both rather
dated. First used in English for the self-whipping of mediaeval religious
flagellant cults. In the modern era used by psychologists and sometimes
among practitioners as a general term to describe SM-related whipping, beating and spanking for erotic stimulation. A useful overall term, though currently out of fashion on the SM scene. See The Flagellation Factsheets, for further discussion of terms, information on what
to use and practical and safety advice.
Pseudonym of Tony DeBlase.
Multi-tailed implement designed for striking the body, similar to a cat but normally with broad, blunt tails rather than those that end in sharp knots or spikes. See What to Use: Floggers in The
Flagellation Reference. Using a flogger is known as flogging.
A term that can be used for striking with a variety of different flexible
implements, sometimes used as a general term for these sorts of activities.
Some SMers now restrict the term to the use of the implement known as a
flogger, similar to a cat but normally with broad, blunt tails or tresses. See The Flagellation Reference, and the Flagellation Practical for a discussion of running flogging scenes.
Type of catheter with a balloon that can be inflated with sterile water to hold it in place in the bladder. See catheter.
A variant of the techniques formerly used on hunger-striking prisoners
or in hospitals where medical conditions prevent normal eating is occasionally used in heavy control SM scenes to gain control of digestion. It is possible to insert a tube from the mouth into the stomach (an orogastric tube), but a tube inserted through the nose is safer -- see nasogastric tube.
A form of play sometimes employed when the main interest in an SM activity is the physical sensation (see pain) or experience, where no domination or submission is involved and the partners swap roles during the scene or do things to each other simultaneously.
Euphemism for condom, now fairly rare.
Sex play involving repeated insertion and withdrawal of the cock in either the cunt (vaginal intercourse) or the arsehole (anal intercourse), by extension doing something similar with the cock in other orifices (for example, face fucking, a particularly intense form of fellatio) or using other objects in the cunt or arsehole with a similar motion (for example, fist fucking, finger fucking). A vanilla option that nonetheless occurs in SM play (and not necessarily with the bottom as the receptive partner). Hygiene precautions should be observed with this activity -- see safer sex. See also arseplay, cunt torture, insertive toy.
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Gay and Lesbian alt.sex.bondage, a mailing list offshoot from the alt.sex.bondage newsgroup, now hosted by Queernet.
Gay Male Sado-Masochist Activists, a pioneering New York-based educational and campaigning group -- see their website for more details. The abbreviation is usually pronounced as if spelt 'jemizma', with the stress on the 'miz'.
Golden Shower -- see piss.
US: duct tape. A strong woven adhesive tape available in generous widths of 50mm/2" or more and a useful standy for bondage purposes, and especially popular for mummification. A tape known in the US as gaffer's tape is rather weaker but is sometimes used as a substitute. See What to use: Tapes and wraps in the Bondage Reference.
A weaker US version of gaffa tape (duct tape).
Sometimes used as a general term for pain games involving the genitals. See ball torture, cock torture, cunt torture.
Possible term for female submissive, though much less common than its male equivalent boy, perhaps because for various sociolinguistic reasons adult women are termed 'girls' much more readily in everyday life than adult men are termed 'boys'. See also Daddy.
go down on
Fellate -- see fellatio.
Archaic term for a dildo.
GS. A euphemism for a game involving piss, especially when someone is pissed over.
A form of seizure such as those that can be caused by epilepsy. A guide to Seizure Management is in theFirst Aid Sourcesheet.
Piercing through the base of the scrotum, between the legs -- see the Piercing Glossary.
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Piercing through the upper part of the scrotum -- see the Piercing Glossary.
Alternative term for fisting, most popular in US.
These metal bondage items, familiar from police use, are another one of those well-known SM icons that have real practical drawbacks: they can be painful and damaging to nerves and bones, and like all metal bondage items should be used with great care. Two popular types are the U-shapes with a cross-piece and the ratchet type. Straight 8s have both cuffs as one solid piece rather than joined with a chain, thumb cuffs are usually mini straight 8s and ankle cuffs are larger and with a longer chain. See What to Use: Handcuffs in the Bondage Reference. Also a verb, 'handcuff' or 'cuff', to place someone in handcuff.
Suspending the body by the neck, a very dangerous game. See under
breath control and the discussion in theBreath Control Briefing.
A visual code designed in the early 1970s so that gay men on the leather/SM scene could display their specific sexual interests by displaying particular coloured hankies in their back pockets in conjunction with the left-right convention. Some brief words about the code and some of the more common colours are in the Codes and Symbols Sourcesheet.
As opposed to hurt -- a common BDSM rule of thumb is that one should hurt, not harm.
Bondage apparatus consisting of a network of straps designed to form a web over a large area of the body or the head. The best known is the leather body harness for wearing around the upper torso, as seen in the classic leatherman look. However they can be made of a variety of materials, and not all are just made for show. See What to Use: Harnesses in the Bondage Reference. Also a verb, 'harness', to place someone in a harness.
Along with boots, the most fetishised items of footwear around: they combine the discomfort and pain of wearing them with the damage they can inflict when used as weapons. The fetish is termed altocalciphilia; for more see in the Boots and Shoes Briefing.
Very narrow skirt with hem just below the knee that restricts the wearer's ability to take anything other than very short steps, sometimes used as a bondage item. See What to use: Garments in the Bondage Reference.
1. In bondage, a horse is any item of furniture that a bottom can be tied down over, usually to expose the buttocks for some form of flagellation. They can be improvised from chairs, gym horses can be used, or purpose-built items acquired. See What to Use: Chairs and Horses in the Bondage Reference.
2. After the dog, the second most popular animal to be mimicked in animal training scenes.
Inflict pain. A common BDSM rule of thumb is that one should hurt, not harm.
hurt not harm
There is a common ethical code in many BDSM circles that you can hurt people, in the sense of inflict pain, but that you should not harm them but inflicting any lasting or serious physical or psychological damage. Discussions of this and similar topics in the Ethics Sourcesheet.
Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen -- see
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US: -ization. Any form of bondage technically immobilises someone, but this term is usually reserved for extreme forms where someone literally cannot move a muscle, not to be recommended for long periods. See also mummification.
Fastening of the genitals to prevent intercourse or even sometimes arousal, as in chastity games, usually achieved by piercing or suturing (sewing). More in the Play Piercing Factsheet.
Anything inserted into a bodily orifice, especially the arsehole or the cunt, for sexual purposes. Examples include the buttplug, the dildo, the vibrator and of course various parts of the body (see also fucking). Hygiene precautions should be observed with all of these -- see safer sex. A full briefing on such toys is in prepartion.
Various kinds of metal bondage equipment, the best known being the leg irons with two riveted steel cuffs for the ankles attached to a bar or chain. As with all metal bondage items, they have their own hazards. See What to Use: Manacles and Irons in the Bondage Reference.
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