jug sling hitch
Knot with resizable loop suitable for attaching tethers to the bottom. See the Knots Sourcesheet.
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The obtaining of sexual enjoyment from enemas -- see douching.
The simplest way to fasten rope bondage and a skill that most BDSMers benefit from gaining some proficiency in. A number of the most useful knots for bondage purposes are illustrated in the Knots Sourcesheet; see also What to Use: Rope
in the Bondage Reference.
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Piercing into the mouth from just below the center of the lower lip -- see the Piercing Glossary.
Knot for attaching rope to an anchor point leaving two ends dangling. See the Knots Sourcesheet.
1. A sort of long-tailed implement like a whip that can create a stinging pain; striking with such an implement. See Terms and What to Use: Whips in the Flagellation Reference.
2. To fasten something to something else with rope.
Lawrence, Thomas Edward
aka "Lawrence of Arabia" 1888-1935. British military officer
instrumental in the Arab Revolt against the Ottoman Empire during World
War I, immortalized most majestically in the 1962 David Lean film Lawrence
of Arabia and later revealed as a person who amongst other things enjoyed
severe floggings. See Deviant Personalities.
Material made from the cured skin of animals is a popular sexual fetish: it may combine some natural appeal with the social associations of particularly black leather with power and masculinity. Certainly it often co-occurs with SM interests and was the dress code and de facto uniform of the influential gay male SM community that developed in the US from the 1960s, who came to be known as leathermen. Consequently 'leather' is often used, rather euphemistically, as a general term for BDSM interests, a usage immortalised in the title of Larry Townsend's seminal Leatherman's Handbook (Townsend 1983), first published in 1972, which is in fact a manual of SM techniques.
Today the leathermen have been joined by leatherwomen and phrases such as 'leathersex', 'leather community' and 'leather lifestyle' are used to imply much more than a fetishistic interest in the material itself. The usage is particularly common in the US, and among lesbian and gay SMers, though it has some currency on the straight scene too. But in fact the overlap between the two interests has never been total and there are many SMers for whom leather does little.
The usage would be acceptable, albeit potentially confusing, if it were accepted that there were two meanings, and that those into 'leather' would not necessarily be wearing leather. Unfortunately some SMers fail to comprehend that others can have a different complex of sexual interests from themselves and insist that 'real' SMers wear leather while 'real' leatherpeople do SM. This attitude was already widespread in the 1970s with complaints that most of the people wearing leather in the bars just 'liked the look' and were otherwise totally vanilla. Today it is more likely to manifest itself in arguments over dress codes and the complaints are as likely to come from SMers who want to play in public spaces without having to conform to someone else's fetish.
It should be noted that even just as a fetish the term 'leather' is not likely to indicate just any old leather but implies a specific subset of leather clothing, preferably in black. The most essential item is the classic motorcycle jacket, and this may often be enough on its own to satisfy a dress code if worn with denim jeans and boots. Also acceptable are black leather trousers, chaps, shirts and various items of bondage wear such as harnesses. Red suede jackets, blacksmith's aprons and white kid gloves will generally not do.
Leather Pride flag
This recently designed symbol enjoys a gradually spreading popularity particularly among lesbian and gay SMers; Leather here is certainly being used in its wider sense. See in the Codes and Symbols sourcesheet.
May just mean a man into leather as a fetish but more likely to mean a male SMer belonging to a particular community where the wearing of leather is the norm, a particularly common usage among gay male SMers in the US. See leather.
May just mean a woman into leather as a fetish but more likely to mean a female SMer belonging to a particular community where the wearing of leather is the norm, a particularly common usage among lesbian SMers in the US. See leather.
A well-know visual code to indicate sexual interests whereby an accessory displayed on the left of the body indicates top or active, and on the right, bottom or passive. Used in conjunction with the hanky code to indicate more specific activities. See in the Codes and Symbols Sourcesheet.
Bondage device placed around leg -- see restraint 2.
Restraint designed to force the legs apart -- see stretcher or under What to use: Stretchers in the Bondage Reference.
The point beyond which a player in a BDSM game does not consent to go. Can either indicate a particular activity that someone cannot cope with or finds a turnoff, or a point reached in play at which the stimulation ceases to be enjoyable or satisfying, or becomes impossible to cope with psychologically. Obviously the limits will vary between person to person and situation to situation. Note that although limits are usually thought of in connection with bottoms, they are also applicable to tops. More discussion in the Ethics Sourcesheet.
Piercing through the skin on the underside of the penis -- see the Piercing Glossary.
Quirt. Long thin whip used in coaching and carriage-driving. See What to Use: Riding
Whips in the Flagellation Reference.
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A potentially confusing abbreviation. In SM it stands for masochism and so may indicate a masochist. But it can also stand for the opposite role in the opposition of master or mistress and slave. When used for masochist it may be written m in lower case; when used for master or mistress it is almost always written in upper case. Thankfully the sense is usually clear from the context.
Sometimes MS, M&S or M-s. Master (or mistress) and slave.
Piercing through the front of the neck -- see the Piercing Glossary.
Piercing through either side of the upper lip -- see the Piercing Glossary.
Thick cane with a knob-shaped handle
at one end. See What to Use: Canes in the Flagellation Reference.
A male dominant or male domination.
Metal rings joined by a chain to restrain wrists or ankles -- see What to use: Manacles and Irons in the Bondage Reference.
Small flogger usually having six leather tresses of the same length as the handle. See What to use: Floggers in the Flagellation Reference.
In contemporary BDSM circles, the propensity to enjoy undergoing experiences normally thought of as painful, and one who enjoys such experiences, but the terms have a more complex past. See sadomasochism.
Female equivalent: mistress. Dominant, controlling partner or top in a relationship based on sexual domination and submission (DS), where the submissive partner is known as the slave. Such relationships are known as master/mistress-slave relationships, abbreviated to M/s, M-s or MS. Both terms were formerly used more generally to cover a variety of different BDSM styles but as the community begins to disentangle DS from the enjoyment of pain, they are gradually becoming specialised to situations where the DS element is particularly essential or marked and/or where it perhaps extends into everyday life, as when the slave carries out domestic tasks for the master/mistress or adopts formalised rules of address and other rules of behaviour. There are even cases of 'full-time' or 24/7 (24 hours a day, seven days a week) MS relationships, where the slave has perhaps signed a contract and considers him/herself owned as 'property'. See also daddy, discipline, domination, sadomasochism, top and the discussion on master-slave relationships in the Dynamics and Definitions Sourcesheet.
Scene involving some form of medical procedure or scenario, perhaps with the top playing the role of a doctor or nurse and the bottom a patient, often with a control element. Typical medical scenes may involve intrusive physical examinations and insertive medical equipment such as specula, douching and enemas, and perhaps catheterisation, piercing, suturing, electricity, breath control with anaesthesia masks, and the use of naso-gastric tubes.
Trade name for a common type of canula needle.
Female equivalent of a master.
Female equivalent (in American English) of a daddy.
One who is mummified.
A specialised kind of bondage in which the whole body, including the head if some form of breathing tube is used, is wrapped tightly using materials like clingfilm (saran wrap) and gaffa tape, cloth or latex bandages until the bottom (the mummee) is completely immobilised. Holes are then sometimes made for access to genitals and other areas. More information in the Mummification Briefing.
1. Female equivalent (in British English) of a daddy.
2. One who is mummified, though in this case the spelling 'mummee' is usually preferred.
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